When you have put yourself in a bind from which there seems no escape, when you are lonely and might only have yourself to blame, when you adamantly refuse to take any responsibility for a bad situation … you are drawing the Eight of Swords in a Tarot Reading. This is a card that demands you investigate your status as a victim and acknowledge your own role in any possible downfalls that may be occurring around you.
Swords represent words. A sword that is buried represents words that dug deep. The gloomy nature of the scene depicted on the Eight of Swords Tarot card underscores that a long period of criticism has caused a person to turn into an withdrawn, stuck being. Be it harsh words that were lessons from your past or more recent verbal exchanges in your professional world or love relationship, the ideas expressed have caused you to shut down.
There is nobody around the tied-up victim, she has her shoes on and could begin walking away from all those swords. There is nobody stopping her from slowly removing that which binds and blinds her. But at the present, she stands amidst the swords. A closer contemplation could make one wonder how much of the negative criticism that they represent she has begun to believe about herself.
Okay, I’ll admit: there is no one I can blame but myself.
But is this really the entire truth?
This school year and these past few weeks, in particular, I have felt as though my hands are completely tied, unable to complete basic tasks as long as my roommates are around.
I know, my behavior is ultimately my decision, but there’s something about living with these two classmates that makes it feel impossible to live my life as long as they’re around.
First off, I rarely drink. I drank more in my first two years at college than I do now that I’m old enough to legally buy my own alcohol. My roommate, on the other hand, drinks it more than he drinks water. Our other roommate only enables it. I don’t have anything against them personally–I know how strong addiction can be and that it’s not the addicted person’s fault.
This card can be used to describe more of my life than I would like. The perfectionism and depression surely don’t help me escape from behind those swords that I could so easily slip through in order to achieve my goals.
But what are my goals? Am I really just too much of an empath to not let someone else’s negativity affect my ability to function?
Or… am I just projecting? Would I feel this way if I wasn’t so attached to my privacy and space? Currently, I am going through a period of introspection and self-awareness and I am learning more about myself every day. Some of these things I like, others… need some work.
One of the major (visible) indicators of my self-progress is through the cleanliness of my living space. Obviously, I’m not perfect–my living space can go from looking perfect one day to the aftermath of a tornado the next. Or in a few hours, on the fun days.
But when a roommate makes an area messy (or leaves dishes in the sink), it really gets under my skin. I almost never pick up after them because I refuse to be their parent, but it really interferes with my motivation to clean my own things (especially when the sink is crammed up with other people’s dishes). Then, my dishes sit for longer and my anxiety levels go up. I wish it wasn’t this way, and I’m trying to find out how I can be more “chill,” but I don’t know.
Either way, I am so excited to finally live on my own. Me, myself, I, and my little hedgehog buddy in our own apartment. And we might have another addition to the family–a pet rat. It’s going to be so nice!! The single life is perfect for me and I cannot wait to finally experience it.